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German for beginners... Enjoy
http://forum.fbodyeurope.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=1994		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Rampage [ Fri May 31, 2002 12:22 pm ]
Post subject:  German for beginners... Enjoy
> GERMAN FOR BEGINNERS...
> German is a relatively easy language. If you know Latin you're used to
> declensions and can learn German without great difficulty. That's what
> German teachers tell you at the first lesson. Then you start studying
> the der, die, das, den... and they tell you that everything follows a
> logical order.
> So it's easy. And to prove it, let's look at an example more closely:
> You sign up for first-year German and go out and buy the textbook. It's
> a beautiful, expensive, hard-bound book, published in Dortmund. The book
> mentions the customs of the Hottentots (Hottentotten in German). The
> book tells us that when opossums (Beutelratten) are captured, they are
> placed in cages (Kasten) with bars made of wood slats (Lattengitter) to
> keep them from escaping.
> These particular cages are called Lattengitterkasten in German and when
> there are opossums inside them they are know as
> Beutelrattenlattengitterkasten.
>
> One day, the Hottentot police arrested a would-be murderer (Attentater),
> who allegedly tried to kill a Hottentot mother (mutter). Her son is
> good-for-nothing stutterer (Stottertrottel), so his mother is,
> therefore, a Hottentottenstottertrottelmutter and her would-be murderer
> is a Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater.
>
> Easy, right?
>
> So the police captured the suspect and put him, temporarily, in an
> opossum cage (Beutelrattenlattengitterkasten) for safe-keeping until
> they could take him to jail, but the prisoner escaped! A search ensued
> and a Hottentot warrior cried out, "I have captured the murder suspect
> (den Attentater)!"
> "Yes? Which one?" asked the chieftain.
> "The Beutelrattenlattengitterkastenattentater!" replied the warrior.
> "What? The murder suspect who was in the opossum cage?" asked the
> Hottentot chieftain.
> "That's right," said the warrior, "the
> Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater."
> By now you know enough German to understand that he's talking about the
> would-be murderer of the mother of the good-for-nothing Hottentot
> stutterer, right?
> "Oh, I see", says the Hottentot chieftain, "why didn't you say so right
> away? You could have begun by saying that you had captured the ... wait
> for it.......
> Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterbeutelrattenlattengitterkastenattentater!"
>
>
> As you can see, German is a very easy language. All you have to do is
> pay a little attention.
Author:  Roy [ Fri May 31, 2002 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
:-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek:
Author:  BenZ28 [ Fri May 31, 2002 12:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
LOL! :D

Ben
Author:  Squirrelina [ Fri May 31, 2002 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
*lol*
even as german I almost can't read it without getting knots in my tongue
Author:  RT1 [ Sat Jun 01, 2002 8:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey that is the street I live on! That is too funny. Thanks for the lesson, Ram.

RT1
Author:  PT_Cruisin [ Sun Jun 02, 2002 11:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Gee, like I needed another reason not to learn the language! Just to make sure you weren't yanking my chain, I cut-and-pasted all that jargon onto Babelfish---and my computer exploded. I'm writing from a friend's place. Thanks a lot, Ram....j/k.

Paula :)
Author:  Squirrelina [ Sun Jun 02, 2002 12:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
*LOL* PT,
how can Babelfish or Altavista not make a computer explode?
Don't need a 1/8 mile long word to do that ;)
Those translating programs are good for nothing. If you halfway speak a language and see what them progs translate for senceless **** - just try a little more difficult text, translate it into another language and have the program translate it back...

Not that I ever thaught that I speak/write english well (do lots of mistakes) but I am proud of that Babelfish is worse than me. :-fruit:
And I am also not speaking perfect german: Mix my pfälzisch slang with the better german and my daughters special terms, stir with some english, spice with a little bit of french and spain - and nobody knows what I am talking about... :-ok:
Author:  Krazy [ Sun Jun 02, 2002 8:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
:-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek: :-eek:


I would definetly have to go with Roy's responce on this one :)
Author:  Garry [ Sun Jun 02, 2002 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Those translating programs are good for nothing.

How can you say that? They always make your day ... :) e.g. can you guess what original english term is used to get the german term "Geschlechtsnocken" from Babelfish? ;)

Quote:
And I am also not speaking perfect german: Mix my pfälzisch slang with the better german and my daughters special terms, stir with some english, spice with a little bit of french and spain - and nobody knows what I am talking about... :-ok:

huh? J/K
Author:  RT1 [ Mon Jun 03, 2002 1:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
That is funny Garry, about the Geschlechtsnocken, what does it really mean in German? I took the time to look it up on Alta. Funny!

RT1
Author:  Garry [ Mon Jun 03, 2002 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
That is funny Garry, about the Geschlechtsnocken, what does it really mean in German? I took the time to look it up on Alta.

There is no such word in german ... :)
Author:  RT1 [ Mon Jun 03, 2002 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well that makes it even funnier! So it is like that Farfignugen thing that VW made up?

RT1
Author:  Squirrelina [ Tue Jun 04, 2002 1:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
... and nobody knows what I am talking about... :-ok:

huh? J/K


See! Thats what I mean! not even Garry knows what I am talking about! LOL
Author:  Squirrelina [ Tue Jun 04, 2002 1:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Geschlechtsnocken and Farfignugen...
...reminds me of an Italian Restaurant
temporarly run by some Asian Family
with menu in german/english written.
Should have kept a copy. Was fun to order there,
because you never knew what you were gonna' get.
Tasted good, ate often for lunch.
Was closed by the Gesundheitsamt later because of
their
Moulasch = mouse in gulasch (sliced meat, usually pork)
Kroachettes = roaches in kroquettes
Pizza with Hot 'DOG' Wurst
And we all thought they could not spell...
Author:  RT1 [ Tue Jun 04, 2002 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey this is cool... I jsut went to msn.de, and typed in 'Geschlechtsnocken' in that little box that says 'suche' on it. Ooooooooo yeah! :p

RT1
Author:  Z28 Justice [ Thu Jun 06, 2002 6:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Rampage
What the ****!
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