ACCORD
Axles Crack, Coolant Overflows, Radiator Drips
ACURA
A Car Under Recall Action
A Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?
A Costly, Unreliable, Repugnant Automobile
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
Always Cursing Untimely Repair Appointments
America Can Use Real Automobiles
Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
Another Car Using Rice Additives
Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym
Another Contemptible Use of Recycled Aluminum
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
Automobile Causes Ugly Road Accidents
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
Awful Crappy Unreliable Rusty Automobile
Awesome Car, Un-Real Acceleration
AMC
A Major Cost
A Moron's Car
A Moron's Car
A Mutated Car
All Makes Combined
All Mistakes Combined
Another Major Catastrophe
Another Mess of Crap
Assholes Make Crap
Awesome Muscle Car
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
A Used Dodge Intrepid
All Uninformed Drivers Insulted
All Unnecessary Devices Installed
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BEETLE
Battered Everywhere; Expect To Lose Engine
By Everyone's Experience, They Last Eternally!
BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Barely Moving Wreck
Beastly Mechanical Wonder
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Big Money Works
Big Money. Why?
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
Blew My Money
Born Moderately Wealthy
Bought My Wife
Break My Windows
Break My Windshield
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring Many Wrenches
Bring Money Weekly
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broke My Wallet
Broken Money Waster
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Brutal Money Waster
Bubba Makes Wheels (for cars built in Spartanburg, SC plant)
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Busted My Wallet
BUICK
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
Bought Understanding It Can't Kickbutt
Built Under the Inspection of a Crazy Korean
Butt Ugly Import Car Killer
Butt Ugly In Central Kentucky
Butt Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
Butt Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
CADILLAC
Car And Driver Indicates Lady Luck Abandoned Consumer
Cars Are Driven In Long Lines And Crashed
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country
CAMARO
Calling All Mechanics - Another Required Overhaul Can A Mechanic Actually Repair One?? Can't America Make A Real One? Crapped Another Motor, Another Rear Obliterated Crappy American Machine Always Requires Oil CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Can Hear Every Valve Rattle Over Loud Engine Tapping Can't Help Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time! Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle, Or Loud Engine Ticks Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Cheap Hastily Engineered Vehicle Running On Luck Every Time Cheap Hazardous Expensive Vehicle Runs On Luck Every Time Cheap Heaps Erratically Vibrate Running On Level Even Terrain Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time. Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time Crap Heap Enormously Vunerable Runs On Luck Every Time Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time CHEVY
Can Hear Every Valve Yell Can't Have Every Vehicle, Yankee Charged HEaVilY Cheapest Heap Ever Viewed Yet Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet Crap Heap Enormously Vunerable Yearly Cruddy Hick Engine Very Yucky
CHRYSLER
Can't He Repair Your Slow Leaky Expensive Rustbucket?
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
Collection of Half Realized Yet Somehow Likeable Engineering Research
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
CITROEN
Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
Crummy Interior, Terrible Road-holding, Owned Entirely by Nitwits
DATSUN
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
DODGE
Dad Owns Dinky God-awful Elf
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Dad's Garage Elevator
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Gasoline Eater
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dad's Garage Experiment
Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Department Of Defense's Grossest Error
Designers Occasionally Do Good Engineering
Detroit's Only Damn Good Engine
Digs Own Damn Grave Eventually
Do Or Die, Get Engine
Don't Over Drive Gutless Engine
Dorky Outside - Damn Good Engines
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Driven Only During Grey Evenings
DUESENBERG
Doesn't Understand Every Straight Engine Never Burns Experimental Racing Gas
ECLIPSE
Eagle's Cousin Likes Intercooler Pressure Supplied
EDSEL
Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT
F**ked In the Ass Twice
Failed In A Tunnel
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Failure In Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fits In A Thimble
Fix It Again Today
Fix It Again Tony
Fix It All the Time
Flats In All Tires
Found In A Trench
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD
Driver Returns On Foot (backwards) F**ked over rebuilt Dodge Fabricated Of Refried Dung Fails On Rainy Days Falling Off: Rusty Door Famous Odor Resistant Dog Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream Fast Only Rolling Downhill Fastest On Race Day Fastest On Road Device Fastest On Road, Dip! Fatally Obese Redneck Driver Fault Of R&D Features O.J. and Ron's DNA Final Organ of Reproductive Discipline Finally Obsolete Racing Device Finally Our Racing Dream Financing Only Rusty Dump Fireball On Rear Denting First On Race Day First On Recall Day First On Road to Dump First On Roads & Driveways First On Rust and Deterioration First Order of Reproductive Discipline Fix Or Recycle Dilemma Fix Or Repair Daily Flintstone Or Rubble Driven Flip Over, Read Directions Flipped Over Rebuilt Dodge Flipped Over Roadside Disaster Flipping Over Results in Death Flying On Ragged Dreams Follow Our Ruddy Dogsled Follow Our Rusty Dogsled Fond Of Resonating Decibels Fool Only Runs Downhill (expletive replaced) Foot On Road Decelerates For Off Road Domination For Old Racecar Drivers For Only Redneck Drivers For Only Retarded Drivers Force Of Rapid Departure Forced to Order Rubber Drivetrain Forced On Reluctant Drivers Ford Owner Really Dumb Fords Only Run Downhill Forgot Our Recommended Defaults Fork Over Remaining Dough Fork Over Repair Dough Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin Formed Of Rejected DNA Forward Only, Reverse Defective Forwarded Once; Return Denied Fouled Out Re-done Dodge Found On Red Dumpster Found On Redneck's Driveway Found On Road Dead Found On Roadside Dead Found On Rockville Dump Found On Rubbish Dump Found On Russian Dump Found Outside Refuse Dump Found Outside Rotting Dump Four Old, Rattly Doors Four Old, Rusted Doors Four Old Rusty Doors Fourth On Race Day Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos Freakin' Old Retarded Driver Freaky Obsolete Racing Device Free Or Reduced Drastically Frequent Off Road Deaths Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration Frequently On Ritalin, Designers Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge Full Of Roaring Drunks Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable Fun Obnoxious Redneck Driving Funding Our Retirement Daily (mechanic`s point of view) Funky Old Rebuilt Dodge Funny Old Rattling Dump
GEO
Get 'Er Outtahere
Get Everyone Out
Getting Even Ourway
Good Engineering Overlooked
Got Engine, Oh?
Grotesque Engineering Outdated
Guy Earns 0
GM
Garbage Motors General Maintenance Generally Miserable Generally Misunderstood Get a Mopar! Gluteus Maximus Good Money Goshdarn Mess Great Mistake Grossly Misconceived Grungy Merchandise GMC
Garage Man's Companion Garage Mechanics Companion Gas Mileage Crappy Gay Man's Chariot General Mass of Crap Generally Made Crappy Generally Mediocre Cars Generic Made Chevrolet Generic Made Chevy Generic Mutilated Crap German Milk Cow Get More Cash Get More Chicks Gets Mechanics Crazy Girlfriend's Mothers Car Gloomy Mechanical Contraption God Must Cry! God's Master Creation God's Mechanical Curse Goober Makes Cars Good Many Clunkers Good Mechanics Cry Good Mileage Consistently Goofy Mangled Creation Got a Mechanic Coming Got More Crap Gotta Mechanic Coming? Great Motor Car Great Mountain Climber Great Muscle Cars Grungy Mound of Crap GTO
Garbage Truck Option Gas, Tires, Oil Get Tools Out Gets Tickets Often Get Tires Often
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Had One, Never Do-that Again
Had Overhauled Nine Days Ago
Hallmark of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructible Automobiles
Hand Over Dollars to Asians
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Has Often Nice Dealer Accessories
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Helping Out Nips Destroying America
Highly Overpriced Non-Domestic Automobile
History of No Dramatic Acceleration
Hold On, No Dealer Addons!
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
How Odd, No Damn Acceleration
Hugely Obnoxious Nuclear Driving Accident
HYUNDAI
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
INFINITI
It Never Found Its Niche: It's Truly Inconsequential
INTEGRA
It's Nice That Even Girls Require Automobiles
IROC
Children Only Run from It (backwards) I Race On Credit I Race Only Children I Race Only Civics I Race Other Cars I Reak of Cologne I Really Own Crap I Run Over Children I'm a Retard Out Cruising I'm Really Out of Cash Idiot Running On Coke Idiot Runs Over Cats Ignorant Redneck Owns Car Incredibly Ragged Out Crap International Race Of Crap It's Really Only a Camaro Italian Retard Out Cruising
JAGUAR
Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs
Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop
JEEP
Jalopy Extrordinaire - Everything Piecemeal
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jr. Engineered Every Part
Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole
Jumps Everything Ever Parked
Junk Each and Every Piece
Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
Junky Engines Eat Parts
Just Eats Every Part
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Enough Engine Power?
Just Enough Engineering Problemss
Just Everyone Elses Parts
Just Expect Essential Parts
Just Expect Extra Payments
KIA
Keep It Away
Kick It Again
Kill It Anyway
Killed In Action
Killed In Assembly
Kills In Accidents
Korea's Incompetence Amazing
Krap in Action
LEMANS
Least Enjoyable Machine - Always Needs Something
Look Everyone My Anus Noticeably Stinks
LINCOLN
Love It Now 'Cause Only Looks Nifty
LTD
Last Time Driving
Last To Die
Last Try from Detroit
Left To Die
Little Tin Dream
Little Transportation Delivered
Long Term Debt
Long Term Disability
Long, Thin Dumpster
Long Time Driving
Lousy Transportation, Dammit!
Loves To Die
Loves To Drive
MAZDA
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MERCEDES
Money Envy Reliably Causes Every Derogatory Expletive to Surface
Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans
Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings
MERCURY
Makes Envisioning REAL Car Understandable -- Recalled Yet?
Makes Everyone Really Crave Underpowered, Recalled Yugo
Mileage Eventually Ruins Car -- Usually Ruins You
Motorists Easily Rate Car (Usually "Real Yo-yo")
METRO
Mangey Environmentalist Transporter Rusts On
Martha, Every Thing Rattles Off!
May Every Thing Rattle On
May Endure Teasing, Ridicule, and Ostracism
Mileage's Everything; Torque, Running's Out
Monkeys Engineered This Road Obstacle
My Endeared Transportatin Rusted Out
MG/MGB/MGF
Merciless Garbage
Might Go
Might Go Backwards
Might Go Forward
Mobile Garbage
Money Grabber
Money Guzzler
MIATA
My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MITSUBISHI
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
Motor Is Tough, Sounds Unbelievably Bad, Intimidates Slow Hondas Incessantly
MOPAR
Made Of Plastic And Rubber
Made Of Plastic And Rust
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Massively OverPowered And Respected
Masters Or Performance and Racing
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars
More Overall Performance And Reliability
More Overall Power And Reliability
Most Often Passed At Races
Most Often Proven At the Racetrack
Most OverPowered And Respected
MOst Perfect Automobiles for Racing
Mostly Obsolete Parts Assembled Randomly
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mounds Of Power And Revs
Move Over, Pentastar Approaching Rapidly
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
Move Over Plymouths Are Racing
Move Over Pontiac Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Old Pig Always Roars
My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin.
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG
Massively Ugly Sh*tpile That's Always No Good Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
NISSAN
Needless Innovations, Silly, Stupid, Automotive Nonsense
Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now
Never I Shall Steal Another Nissan
Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing
Now in Stupid Shape, Always Nasty
NOVA
Naturally Obnoxious Vehicle Award New Owner Very Ashamed Nightmarish Occult Vehicle Apparition Nine Old Vagrant Alcoholics No Offense - Very Average Noticeably Outstanding Vehicle Award Noticeably Outstanding Visible Abhorrence
OLDS
Obnoxious, Loud Death Sled
Older, Louder, Dumber, Slower
One Leak, Dead Starter
OLDSMOBILE
Oh Look, Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
Old Ladies Driving Slowly, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Old Lady Did Some Mechanical Overtime Because It Lacked Energy
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Performance Is Not The Object
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate
Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object
PLYMOUTH
Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood!
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC
People On Narcotics Think It's A Chevy Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadillac Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities PORSCHE
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
Piece Of Rubbish, Saps Continually High Expense
Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have 'Em
Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine
Please Overlook Really Smutty Cardboard Horrible Engine
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
PRELUDE
Pistons Rattle, Engine Locks Up, Differential Explodes
PROBE
Plainly Runs Only By Exception
RABBIT
Racy? Ain't! Bouncy, Bad Itty-bitty Toy!
Replace A Beetle? Boy, It Tried
RAM
Really All Malfunctioning
Really Awful Manufacturing
Runs Almost Monthly
Rust And Mold
RENAULT
Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
ROLLS-ROYCE
Rich Old Ladies Love Spending - Really Old Yuppies Charge Everything
SAAB
Scary Antique Absent Brakes
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Atrocity Back
Send Another Automobile Back
Send Away Ass Backwards
Shake And Advance Backwards
Shape Appears Ass-Backward
Simply Archaic And Broken
Slick As A Brick
Something Always Appears Broken
Sorely Absent Any Benefits
Sorry Assemly Absorbing Bucks
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
Still Another Ass Bucket
Stinking Atrocity Absent Beauty
Stinky As A Bug
Sucks Away All Bucks
Surely Absorbs All Bucks
Swedish Auto - Always Broken
Swedish Auto's Are Best
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Swedish Automobiles Are Beastly
SABLE
Sleazy Auto Brakes Leak Everytime
SATURN
Slamming Automatic Transmissions, Undiagnosed Rattle
Sorry About That Unexpected Recall Notice
Sounds Absolutely Terrible, Unbelievable Rattling Noises
Supposedly American Technology Unfortunately Really Nissan
SUBARU
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium
Sorry Unreal Bonsai Attempt at a Russian U-boat
U R A BUS (read backwards)
TOYOTA
Take Off Your Oversised Tires, Asswhole
Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
The One You Ought To Avoid
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
Transportation Of Young Or Tasteless Airheads
TRIUMPH
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Trembling Ride, Intrusive Undercarriage, Meekly Powered Hotrod.
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLKSWAGEN
Vehicle Owner's List: Kite String, Wire, Aluminum, Gum, Engine (NOT!)
Venerable Old Lunk Keeps Starting With Astounding German Engineering Niftiness
Very Obsolete, Losers Knowingly Suffer With All German Engineered Nonsense
VOLVO
Vagrant Owned Lousy Vehicle Organization
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners
Very Obsolete Looking Vehicle Oddity
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Often Loses Viable Operation
Very Ornate Luxury Vehicle, Originally
Very Outlandish Looking Vehicle Overhaul
Very Overrated Loaded Vehicle Owners
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
VW
Value Withheld
Vehicle Wackiness
Vehicle Wannabee
Vehicular Waste
Very Weak
Very Weird
Very Worrisome
Vintage Whirligig
Vintage Wreck
Virtual Wannabee
Virtually Worthless
YAMAHA
Yet Another Mechanical Atrocity Happens Again
Your All Muscle And High Above
YUGO
Your Ugly Going Overland
Yugoslavian Unreliable Garbage to Overlook
_________________
|